2026-03
First time leading a session
On Saturday March 7th, I received the message that I for the first time was going to lead the Sunday session. I finished my dinner and went to the center to prepare, thinking about what I am able to share. Lot's of Zen teachings and principals came to my mind, but my heart cannot enter the stillness and brightness. I suddenly realized that those teachings and principals were learned by my consciousness instead of experienced in my own practice, so that the sharing of that won't be powerful enough. I continue to contemplate, and remembered an experience in Grandmaster's class. While I felt really hurt in my whole body in the middle of the class, and unstopable wandering thoughts made me quite disappointed, I choose to accept everything with a soft heart, and found that even though it was really uncomfortable, I am still able to be still. Later, my body and mind is getting more and more quiet, and I begin to let go anything that was bothering me in a brighter sight while my eyes was keeping close. When I came to this experience, I finally feel the energy from connecting with higher status. So I no longer tried to come up with the content I was about to share and focus on quieting my heart. On Sunday, I led the session with such mindset and look for the purity and ease within the hearts with all the practitioners.
